forgive me for using this as a form of therapy for myself. don't feel like you need to read. it's a big whine sesh and cry me a river. don't say i didn't warn you.
i think i'll be taking a break from serious poker for a while. it's been such a big part of my life for a long time, it feels like i'm breaking up a long term relationship. since the "brag" post i made a couple months ago about winning $4k in a $500max game in 4 hours, things have gone astoundingly bad for me (in poker). i've basically busted my poker roll and am loathe to dip into my life roll. i was always able to bounce back from down streaks in the past, but this time has been a crazy free fall.
over my poker career, i was pretty profitable as a long term winner in games in the range of 2/3nl - 5/10plo. the highest game i ever played a few years ago was 10/25/50/100 plo and i remember feeling pretty good about losing only $3k in that game considering how bad i ran.
i know, i know. a couple of months in live poker is not a very significant sample. but it is when my roll is basically gone. the math for me to get here is so far off the bell curve, it barely registers. how many buy ins can i lose when i'm 90+% when the money goes in? isn't it supposed to be at least mildly tough to beat AA/KK? how many times in a row can i brick a wrap+flush draw? or in o8, NFD/wrap/nut low draw? and on the other side of the coin, when do they start missing their bare OESDs? and dry flush draws?
i think that i'm a fairly analytical person (engineering degree) and examine my decisions and measure my words (before i speak). i don't play super LAGGY or maniacal (except vs. a table full of nits!). so it baffles me that i'm broke and the metaphorical lady who calls bets with : dominated FD, gutter to the worst straight, and bottom pair (no low draw) gets there every time.
it's been frustrating and baffling to say the least. the streak of being outflopped and never flopping anything myself seems impossible. seeing my friends and opponents being paid off over and over again is astounding, while every chip i put in the middle ends up being pushed the other direction.
i'm not sure if i'll continue to post in these forums in the short term. it seems like it's tough to give advice on poker when i don't win.